Turn Back Time
by Anrheithwyr
Summary: Everyone else said her life was falling apart. She disagreed.


_**Written for the 'Impossible Love Challenge' by SophyWald. Mentions of violence, cussing, and stuff. **_

_**/**_

"_I wish we could turn back time."_

"_What would you do if you could?"_

"_Fix this."_

_**/**_

"James! James, I need to tell you something!" Lily Evans called across the busy train station, looking flustered and pained. Her face was red and she seemed embarrassed. Her boyfriend, James, couldn't make out words, only the strange look and his girlfriend's moving lips.

"I'll see you later, sweetheart!" he called back, assuming she only wanted to talk about this summer's plans. She called something else that he didn't catch. He only waved and turned towards his mum and Sirius, who waited for him patiently.

_**/**_

"_Are you implying there's something that needs to be fixed? Something that needs to be changed?" _

"_That's not exactly what I said-"_

"_But it's what you meant, isn't it? I apologise if you've suddenly discovered my 'condition' to be too much to handle, Da." _

_**/**_

"Does this hurt you?" A hand across the cheek, a sharp, stabbing pain. "Can you feel this, blood traitor?" A punch to the stomach. "I know you don't feel anything from that little Mudblood whore of your's. I know _she _can't please you, so maybe my girl here can."

"Fuck you."

"This one's got a mouth, doesn't he? Don't you like us, Potter?"

"Fuck you, too. Fuck _all _of you. Even your stupid Voldemort."

"How _dare _you! How _dare _you talk about the Dark Lord with your filthy blood traitor lips. Apologise."

"Go to hell first."

_**/**_

"_I know you think I've messed up."_

"_If your mother were still here, this wouldn't have happened-" _

"_Mum's not here, though, Da. It's just you and me and Tuney."_

_**/**_

James wasn't answering any of her letters. She had to tell him, had to explain what was going on. He had disappeared from the train station before she could catch him and now he wasn't answering any of her letters.

If only wizards had telephones so she could call him. Or if Lily actually had any idea where James lived. She had only been to the Potter Manor once and that had been by Floo powder over Easter break.

Where was James that he was too busy for her? Too busy for her really big secret.

_**/**_

"_How far along do you think you are?"_

"_I dunno, do I? Maybe four or five weeks. It's July now and I haven't had a period since April. Never had the May one."_

"_So, closer to eight or ten weeks, then? Do you know who the father is?" _

_**/**_

It had been his own stupidity that had led to this. His own desire to prove to his mum that he was old enough to take care of himself. He didn't need her to do anything, didn't need house-elves to cook for him. He was eighteen now, he was an adult.

He could survive two weeks alone, he had told his mum, had told Sirius. Don't come looking for me, I can handle it.

They had found him after just three days, because he had been stupid.

_**/**_

"_What are people going to think, Lily?"_

"_That I'm eighteen and pregnant, Petunia. What else are they going to think? It's not that strange. This kind of stuff happens all the time. People are having babies every day. I mean, you and Da might not see it...my God, he all but called me a slut just a few minutes ago."_

"_You're not married, though. People are going to wonder who've you slept with...it's hard not to call you a slut when you've got no ring to prove there's a dad."_

_**/**_

He had started a fire, a pretty decent one that made him feel accomplished. See, he could do this. He knew what to do. No need to worry.

"Enjoying ourselves, then?"

James had jumped, turned around. A dark, cloaked figure. The hood had been pulled over the face and he shuddered, imagining all the sick, twisted things that could be under there.

"Who the hell do you think you are?"

"Not your friend, Potter, that's for sure."

_**/**_

"_You can't get ahold of him?"_

"_He won't answer any of my owls, no. I think Sirius-he's a mutual friend of James and I, Da- said something about him camping, to 'prove he could take care of himself', but you would think he was smart enough to bring a bird with him."_

"_Your poor baby. With a dad like that, I wonder. I never did care for that boy; always struck me as the flighty kind. That asshole."_

_**/**_

It had been one of the worst things he could do, when they had released him. It had been one of the scariest ideas, too. The Death Eaters (they were Death Eaters, he knows that for sure) had just let him walk out casually, with only a warning.

_No more Mudbloods. _

_**/**_

"_I can't allow this ever again. He's obviously not interested in you anymore, Lily. It happens all the time nowaways, this...this casual sex leading to babies and absent fathers. He never cared for you obviously."_

"_That's not fair, Dad!"_

"_You said he's back, right? Meet him. Meet him and tell him you're through."_

_**/**_

They had both come with apologies already on their lips.

His: I'm sorry. What we did, I didn't mean it, really. I'm done.

Hers: I'm sorry, too. My dad...we're just not good for each other, James. I'm done.

The mirror shattered, and two ghosts wandered away. Their love, like a bubble, had popped, leaving only broken glass and broken hearts.

_**/**_

"_What would you do if I said I still loved you?"_

"_I'm pregnant, remember? I'm a Mudblood, remember? What do you want with me?"_

"_I want to marry you."_

_**/**_

Her days were lonely without him. She needed him, craved him. But her father kept her around the house with chores, giving her belly cautious glances, giving her face furious glares. She slipped out in September with the excuse of grocery shopping.

_**/**_

"_Liar."_

"_I am not."_

"_Prove it then."_

_**/**_

His mother worried. Sirius worried for him even as he was unpacking the last of his things in his new flat, giving his friend a worried look.

"You and Evans...look, Prongs, you and Evans need each other."

"She doesn't want me."

"_You _turned _her _down, too."

So, in September, he had walked out of the house, Apparated to a Muggle neighborhood-not random, he knew where she lived-and began to wander.

She was in the grocery store, her stomach a little rounder than the last time they'd met.

_**/**_

"_You're pregnant."_

"_Yes. It's your's, you know. Your baby. My dad...he said I can't be with you. He seems to think you're like his father. I never told you, he only recently told me, but his dad got his mum pregnant when she was fifteen and just ran off."_

"_That's awful...I'm sorry, no, listen, I really am, Lily...you don't understand what's going on with me, but know this. I will never leave you, not ever. There are people who don't want us together, your dad, the Death Eaters, lots of prejudiced assholes...but no one has to know, right? We can still love each other, even if the only ones who know are you, me, and this baby."_

_**/**_

"What do you think? Too yellow?" She holds the skirts of her dress up, smiling in the mirror.

"It's pretty. It's like a little sun. You'll look so happy, so...so _sunshiney_."

"'Sunshiney'? Is that really the best you have, Ali? Are you sure? You don't think this will get me any odd stares? The dress _is _meant to be white, after all."

"And you _are _meant to be having a Wizarding wedding. You _are _a witch, Ginger."

"A muggleborn witch, Ali. With _Muggle _friends. But, seriously, too yellow?"

"I think it fits April."

"How? It rains all the time in April."

"Which is why we need some sunshine, Ginger."

"Hm."

"Buy it, Lily. Buy the damn thing and look so pretty, we all burst into tears."

"What if I don't _fit_, though? I mean, I'm losing most of the weight, but what if I don't fit and I look awkward in this dress or I have to wear an ugly dress because I'm still fat and everyone _doesn't _think I'm pretty and James doesn't want to marry me because I'm not pretty?" She said this all very fast, her voice choking with tears.

"Whoa, whoa. Lily, calm down, it's okay! You'll lose the weight, and even if you don't fit into the dress, you'll still look beautiful."

Lily gave her friend a watery smile. "They'll hate me soon, having to redo the dress every few weeks. Absolutely _hate _me."

"Probably, yeah."

"Do you think, after all this, that my da will believe me when I say James loves me?"

"I dunno. But I think your baby will understand, for sure."

_**/**_

"_She'll be really happy, growing up. I can already tell."_

"_She?"_

"_A girl can dream for a little pink dress, can't she? And a sparkly ring, as well." _


End file.
